Minor

I know it's been a while so how are you? Healthy? Feeling great? Just ate? or perhaps you had a bad day so I can't really say good for you, can I? Just brush of that question. I just wanted to say that I'm still alive haha. okay. Im gonna warn you okay, don't read this if you don't want to be sad or at least feel pity. Okay? okay. I just, I don't know. These few days I've been feeling so weird. I mean, I always catch myself thinking about the same sappy things over and over again. It's weird, honestly and I hate is so much. It's like a virus that I can't get it away from me. Perhaps these thoughts or feelings are the ones that I've been hiding all these years. You know that feeling when you feel you're weird or just different from everybody else. WELL being unique is great but I'm not talking in that way. I mean like you feel nobody can really relate/understand your feelings. I get it we are all different. but. this is different. Look, I'm already talking nonsense. I just feel unwanted. I will always be that last person to be chosen or not be choosen at all. Among all of my friends, I just feel like a minor. I'M NOT lying. It's true. I'm not exaggerating like haha mentang2 aku sedih aku feel alone no. I won't feel like this if this is not true. okay. This is really silly, but sometimes my friends always talk about our future and ask questions about husbands and children. Well to me it's silly. Cas c'mon, me? married? husband? kids? couple? I wish. I truly wish. I can imagine them living happily with their future family but me? I don't think anybody wants me. I always wonder will there be somebody out there who thinks I'm that person. I personally think I'm nothing. not loveable. not funny. not sociable. not talented. not smart. plain weird. that's me, don't get it wrong, I do love myself but just imagining those kind of stuff makes me feel funny. okay. I know you'll say stuff like don't worry nanti ada, suata hari nanti and bla bla bla. I do appreciate that you're trying to cheer me up . THANK YOU :) but this is just how I feel. Have a nice day and sorry this was really confusing. (: